I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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