So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
