this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
