Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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