You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
