it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
