Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
do herpes really smell.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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