you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You left your phone here
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