Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
