i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
