The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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