Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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