You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
