I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
