Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
