He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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