I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
