i think my tv is drunk
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
