I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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