That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize