Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize