So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
