its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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