I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
