dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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