At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
