then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
