and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
