I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Let's get the cat blown out
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize