dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
