We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize