At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
