we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Text me some of your sweat
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
