That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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