physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
