I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
