Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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