When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
