so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
