Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
