i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
