He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
