The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
