i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
