Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just pee around me
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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