We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
