I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
