I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
