That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize