I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
