Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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