he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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