Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
