Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
