I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I will pee on everything he values.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
