I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
