So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
