i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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