I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize