Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
