"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I touched a dick in church today
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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