i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
