i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
