I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Randomize
