walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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