So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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