So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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