my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
